Dear Diary,

M took Estelle to the aquarium this morning and I stayed home with Ana who had a swollen throat. Ana and I drew pictures (cars and fish mostly), cooked imaginary food, made whozits and whatzits with the toy tool box and played with some alphabet puzzles. Not a bad day except Ana kept refusing to eat solids.

When she finally went down for her afternoon nap with a belly full of milk and cooked rice water, I took out my phone and mindlessly did whatever tickled my fancy.

I reorganized my iTunes playlist for commuting. Then I put on YouTube and watched a few clips of stand up comedy before re-watching the Misadventures series from Kate Spade New York (I don’t know what it is about this advertising campaign that draws me in. The ones featuring Anna Kendrick are the best.) but not before listening to the Avengers Theme Music played with Korean traditional instruments.

It’s another day I must be grateful to the smart phone and internet gods for all the light, wonderful distractions they provide. I’m not being dramatic when I say I would have lost it a long time ago without these distractions.

Now it’s past 11 pm and I just meal prepped for lunch tomorrow after putting both kids to bed (M started snoring after Estelle but before Ana). I will hopefully decide on an outfit before going to sleep and shave off some valuable get ready time in the morning so that I can properly shower.

March was my ‘get your sh*t together’ month but it looks like it somehow extended itself to the rest of 2019. Things to do in the mid to long term:

  • Get left ear pierced again
  • French study
  • Build emergency fund
  • Pay off credit card debt
  • Performance review and contract extension


Dear Diary,

Little Ana came down with a fever of 39+ degrees yesterday and I practically stayed up all night with her, measuring her temperature and administering fever medication. She put up a cute little fight using her new favorite phrase ‘Stop it’ and furrowing her brows but M and I pinned her down (at times literally) and coaxed her into taking the medicine ‘juice’. Miraculously, Estelle didn’t wake up during any of this!

We finally got her fever under control around day break and I think I got maybe a few hours of sleep before going off to my Friday morning yoga-pilates class. Insane? No, I needed it.

The one hour long class which I go twice a week before a single soul in this household wakes up, is the only time that I get to spend 100% of guilt-free attention on myself. So the more tired and worn out I get, mentally and physically, the more I find myself looking forward to it.

Plus, it’s such a great feeling having someone else pay attention to me and my needs for a change. Even if that someone is a yoga instructor who I pay to wake up early with me. One on one sessions are not cheap but on balance the mental and physical benefits I get out it are totally worth it.

I guess I’m going through something of a slump at work these days. I was also passed up for a training opportunity recently (too many applicants from this region or whatever) which is not helping my general mood. I won’t rant about the unfairness of it too much here but let’s just say opportunities to grow professionally at this organization are few and far between.

So when I’m in a rut at work and family situation is draining the life out of me, I go to my guilt-free headspace during workout class. Even if at the end of it my abs want to kill me and hamstrings threaten to leave me.

Much ado about toe cleavage

Dear Diary,

Today, a pair of shoes that I ordered online a week ago finally arrived. Some of the reviews I read while researching this particular pair of cap-toe, slingback pumps mentioned that the sizing ran a little big and I debated whether or not to size down before ordering. So I immediately tried them on when they arrived and was relieved to discover that they were true to size. However, just as I was congratulating myself on making the right gut move (I ordered my normal size, 5 1/2), I noticed something. The shoe was cut a little low at the vamp and more of my toes were showing compared to my other pumps.

I did a quick search online and was shocked to discover that there was actually a term for this – toe cleavage – and people had opinions about it! Much like breast cleavage, the biggest fault line was sexy vs. trashy and how much was considered acceptable in polite society/professional environment.

Open-toe shoes are worn at my office so I don’t think a little toe cleavage will create a scandal during the Monday morning team meeting but one commentator’s words did give me pause. Her point was that, while you should wear whatever you want with pride, you should avoid toe cleavage if you are concerned about looking ‘put together’ or people questioning your ability to dress properly and shop for the right shoe size (see what I mean?).  After I got over another bout of WTF moment I decided to keep the shoe just because I like it.

If only other things in life were easier to scoff at as this weirdly sexual footwear problem!